Luke Wilson is a handbag

Sweetie, I told you to stay in the car.

Sweetie, I told you to stay in the car.

You know those supporting actors you see over and over again in all sorts of tv shows and movies? The ones that you can’t help but like…that is, until they attempt leading roles? Luke Wilson is one of those actors. Unfortunately/Oddly enough he can consistently be found playing the man-cessory of saucy/sassy lady-types.

May I present the evidence?

  • Bottle Rocket (follows a hos before bros mentality, like any good man-cessory)
  • Bongwater (potdealing man-cessory)
  • Dog Park* (uses a dog-cessory to become the man-cessory of many)
  • Home Fries (fights a Busey to remain Barrymore’s man-cessory)
  • Committed* (Heather Graham refuses to give up her man-cessory)
  • Charlie’s Angels*(Man-cessorized by Cameron Diaz)
  • Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle* (so nice, he did it twice)
  • That 70s Show* (scripted brother of real-life mancessory, Ashton Kutcher)
  • Legally Blonde* (Man-cessorized by bubbly law student–who already has a dog-cessory)
  • Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, & Blonde* (so nice, he did it twice)
  • The Royal Tenenbaums* (Man-cessorized by his adopted sister)
  • Old School* (Man-cessorized by many co-eds and Ellen Pompeo)
  • Alex & Emma* (Man-cessorized by four different Kate Hudsons)
  • The Family Stone* (Man-cessorized by the queen of accessories: SJP)
  • My Super Ex-Girlfriend* (Uma Thurman carries him about town, literally)
  • Blonde Ambition* (man-cessory for dimwitted Jessica Simpson. Ack.)

*denotes involvement with a blonde

That’s most of his IMDB page, people! Personally, I found his a-hole turn in 3:10 to Yuma refreshing. And what about the cunning, one-armed Frank Vitchard in Anchorman? Lukie, will you promise to be more of an ass, and less of a doormat? Your brother does it all the time. Also, promise me you’ll NEVER star in another movie with “Blonde” in the title.

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5 thoughts on “Luke Wilson is a handbag

  1. matt says:

    This blog’s great!! Thanks :).

  2. Jenny says:

    Haha so tru!

  3. Junkie1 says:

    I feel the need to inform everyone that the mere use of the term “handbag” has caused the site to be inundated with “helpful links to great handbag sites.”

    Gaa! How we suffer for our craft.

  4. buckingthewave says:

    What would his role in idiocracy qualify as?
    PLZ tell me you’ve seen that gorgeous gem of hilarity. (it’s got my favorite little nerd candy: Justin Long in it too “your shit’s all fucked up. but don’t worry, i had a girlfriend whose shit was all fucked up and she’s a pilot now.”)

    and Legally Blonde was a really good idea. The first time.

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