Not much sucks about Hugh Jackman, but there are some Jackman-related things/people that definitely suck.
Bryan Singer, you suck.
You ditch out on a perfectly good franchise to make Superman Returns?! Srsly?! Dude. Then Ratner steps in. Ugh! I won’t get on his case, because he was just doin what he does…Also, why would you let Halle Berry ruin Storm–the in/out accent, the hair in x-2?
Shirley Jones, you suck.
I think it’s time I let you all know about how Shirley Jones (yeah, that Shirley Jones) became my celebrity nemesis. A few years ago, I was in New York with lovely plans to catch a performance of The Boy From Oz. It was fantastic, and after the show we stalker-style bolted outside to wait for Hugh Jackman to come out and do autographs. Suddenly, there he was–all sweaty and adorable! I stretched my arm forth with Mr. Fantastic-style ease. He reached out to me first, signed it, and touched my hand in the process. I was in crazy-crazy heaven!
I noticed some old bat was getting shovey behind me. Normally I would have held my ground, but I was in post-Hugh-hand-touch euphoria. So, I turned and politely asked if she wanted my to get him to sign something for her (note: I was not about to give up my Hugh-proximity). “No!” :: condescending smirk/”Don’t You Know Who I Am?” guffaw combo :: “I’m Shirley Jones, and I need to get backstage…” Then she gave me a final shove so she could worm her way through the stage door. She crossed me, both literally and figuratively. NEMESIS!! And that is how it all began–now I know why Danny Bonaduce is all effed up.
Entertainment Weekly, you suck.
What is a junkie to do when their supplier goes all AWOL? I’ve been in Entertainment Weekly withdrawal for two un-godly weeks. And, in the insult to injury department: HUGH JACKMAN IS ON THE COVER of my missing issue! 😥
Tempe, Arizona, you suck.
I’ve never been there, but I really wanted to win the X-Men Origins: Wolverine premiere contest…boo.
Sorry…after revisiting the traumatizing Shirley Jones incident, I fell into berserker rage and couldn’t come up with anything better to wrap up this post. :: Shakes fists :: DAMN YOU, SHIRLEY JONES!