That Sucks: Meddling with my Jackman

Yeah, they do suck.

Not much sucks about Hugh Jackman, but there are some Jackman-related things/people that definitely suck.

Bryan Singer, you suck.

You ditch out on a perfectly good franchise to make Superman Returns?! Srsly?! Dude. Then Ratner steps in. Ugh! I won’t get on his case, because he was just doin what he does…Also, why would you let Halle Berry ruin Storm–the in/out accent, the hair in x-2?

Shirley Jones, you suck.

I think it’s time I let you all know about how Shirley Jones (yeah, that Shirley Jones) became my celebrity nemesis. A few years ago, I was in New York with lovely plans to catch a performance of The Boy From Oz. It was fantastic, and after the show we stalker-style bolted outside to wait for Hugh Jackman to come out and do autographs. Suddenly, there he was–all sweaty and adorable! I stretched my arm forth with Mr. Fantastic-style ease. He reached out to me first, signed it, and touched my hand in the process. I was in crazy-crazy heaven!

I noticed some old bat was getting shovey behind me. Normally I would have held my ground, but I was in post-Hugh-hand-touch euphoria. So, I turned and politely asked if she wanted my to get him to sign something for her (note: I was not about to give up my Hugh-proximity). “No!” :: condescending smirk/”Don’t You Know Who I Am?” guffaw combo :: “I’m Shirley Jones, and I need to get backstage…” Then she gave me a final shove so she could worm her way through the stage door. She crossed me, both literally and figuratively. NEMESIS!! And that is how it all began–now I know why Danny Bonaduce is all effed up.

Entertainment Weekly, you suck.

What is a junkie to do when their supplier goes all AWOL? I’ve been in Entertainment Weekly withdrawal for two un-godly weeks. And, in the insult to injury department: HUGH JACKMAN IS ON THE COVER of my missing issue! 😥

Tempe, Arizona, you suck.

I’ve never been there, but I really wanted to win the X-Men Origins: Wolverine premiere contest…boo.

Sorry…after revisiting the traumatizing Shirley Jones incident, I fell into berserker rage and couldn’t come up with anything better to wrap up this post. :: Shakes fists :: DAMN YOU, SHIRLEY JONES!

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5 thoughts on “That Sucks: Meddling with my Jackman

  1. Junkie2 says:

    Do you want my hugh jackman issue?

  2. Zrose25 says:

    Dibs!

  3. Junkie1 says:

    Do you even need to ask?! Bring it to the midnight show!!

  4. Zrose25 says:

    Also, I gotta say… I am LOVING the Hugh Jackman week!

  5. MoM says:

    So Sorry to hear about Shirley Jones – and very scared to hear about
    her up-coming publicized nudity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    On the other hand, Hugh broke my heart. He did not pick my Non-Profit
    to donate to! He chose 2 non-profits, one is spectatular, the other
    not so. The guy that runs the non-profit’s salary to do so is $89,000.00
    a year! That sounds profitable to me! He claims that he has sacrificed
    so much in life. I bet the freelance photography job he had never
    paid that much! Oh yeah, that $89,000.00 does not include his expense
    reimbursements, or his medical insurance blah blah blah that all gets
    paid. Funny, how the rest of the people volunteering to work that
    non-profit take $0.00 for salary – things that make you go Hmmmmmmmmmm

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