That Sucks Thursday: Frack you, American Idol

A Star[child] is born!

How could this little muffin not win?! ‘Nuff effing said.

Now, before I’m showered with “he’ll be better off” comments, I must say that I have been hoping this show would finally get it right. What’s that? What about the other winners? Allow me to provide a run-down:

Season 1: Kelly Clarkson
The one and only deserving winner. However, she didn’t start to totally rule until she was released from her Idol shackles, and started telling Clive Davis to ‘suck it.’ Also, Clarkson v. Guarini=No contest.

Season 2: Ruben Studdard
Clay=robbed.

Season 3: Fantasia Barrino
Jennifer Hudson=robbed (and she was voted off in week 6 of 11).

Season 4: Carrie Underwood
Country music fluke–George W. just got re-elected, so the nation was not really thinking straight.

Season 5: Taylor Hicks
C’mon. He’s got “headlining at Branson” written all over him.

Season 6: Jordin Sparks
Blake was adorable, and seriously Jordin is like mall pop twenty years too late.

Season 7: David Cook
Bleh. His performance on last night’s Idol finale bored me to tears (aka Thank God for Tivo)

Season fracking 8: Kris Allen
I’ve got nothing against him, but seriously–even he was shocked.

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4 thoughts on “That Sucks Thursday: Frack you, American Idol

  1. Junkie1 says:

    A text conversation from last night I feel compelled to share with y’all:
    (edited)

    The Law: U guys watching Idol?
    Junkie1: On DVR. What’s up with Lil’s hair? Alien head!
    The Law: Lol, but I love Latifa!
    Junkie1: Ditto
    The Law: Almost to the result, txt when you get there.
    Junkie 1: We r at KISS! Eff yeah!
    The Law: My favorite! Adam’s outfit fucking rocked!
    Junkie1: Totally! I’m onto Queen now.

    Junkie 1: Ridiculous! Adam lost?!?!?!!?!!!?!?!?!!! Boo.
    The Law: I know. Fucking stupid american tards! But at least he can do whatever he wants and Kris is locked into a crappy contract.

    The Law: How about Kara and bikini girl! She’s my new hero!
    Junkie1: Fo shiz! And Steve frickin’ Martin on the banjo?!

  2. Cynthia says:

    How did this happen people? I thought Adam had this in the bag….Oh….my heart hurts!

  3. spitfire says:

    “Season 5: Taylor Hicks
    C’mon. He’s got “headlining at Branson” written all over him.”

    priceless.
    and spot-on.

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