There once was an actress named Megan
(who the men-types followed a-beggin’)
She accentuated her rack, and talked like a quack
and I wished for some hard drugs, despite Nancy Reagan
Okay, so I am not quite master of the limerick yet, but I do feel the need to climb atop my soap box to rain down some e-justice on Megan Fox after reading her June 10th interview with Entertainment Weekly (“Fallen Angel”). Here’s the sitch: From what I’ve read/seen/heard I don’t like her. However, she keeps teetering between interesting and insipid.
Since her humble beginnings as the (uncredited) Stars-and-Stripes Bikini Kid Dancing Under Waterfall, in 2003’s Bad Boys II the Tennessee native has engaged in a no holds barred battle for “Worst Celebrity Quotes of the Century,” giving us all a heaping serving of her home spun “wisdom” like:
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: You’ve only done a couple of movies, so you’re still mostly known as a sex symbol rather than an actress.
MEGAN FOX: It doesn’t bother me. I don’t know why someone would complain about that. That just means that the bar has been set pretty low. People don’t expect me to do anything that’s worth watching. So I can only be an overachiever. I think all women in Hollywood are known as sex symbols. That’s what our purpose is in this business. You’re merchandised, you’re a product. You’re sold and it’s based on sex. But that’s okay. I think women should be empowered by that, not degraded.
Despite the fact that the self proclaimed feminist has notified the media that she has a “really badass personality” and is “smart” and “can be really funny and interesting.” I can’t help but disagree. I’m not calling her stupid. It’s just that her logic is questionable. In the EW interview, she talks about how she hates that grubby old dudes swarm around her at Hollywood events because she’s “not like that.” Sweetie, if you don’t like the horndogs looking at you like a piece of meat you should give them a reason to look at you like something else. What do you expect when you take the hoochie express to Hollywood?
A novel idea would be to close your mouth, all the way, when you’re getting your picture taken. I frequently, and pettily, refer to Ms. Fox as “the mouthbreather,” because it is almost always open. Trust me, junkies, when you see a picture of her without the mouth agape, she looks completely different. Almost exactly like Olivia Wilde–which is interesting since one of Meg’s most infamous quotes was about her desire to date Wilde. Hmm…the “clearly not ugly” (her own words) Fox is attracted to her…self? Surprise, surprise.
Mainly I dislike her, because she flaunts the fact she’s never really done any acting, and she doesn’t think she should have to try because she’s been in Michael Bay action movies (dis to most other actors and Bay) or because the script is shit (dis on the writers) or because she’s just always been “übersexual” (dis on herself). I think that’s the same as working at Subway and taking a paycheck even though you never made a sandwich. You’re an ACTRESS. You should at least try to do your job.
EW: And you made fun of Shia LaBeouf because he was studying his lines on the set?
MF: Yeah, he was pacing back and forth and taking it really seriously, and I said, ‘We’re making Transformers 2! Have you even read the script? What else do you need to do?’ But it was really smart on his part because he was trying to find truth in what was on the page. And if that page isn’t good, then it’s the actor’s job to make it good. So he was doing his job; I was not. (full interview)
Fox claims “I have a mouth and I’m not afraid to use it.” Well maybe you should take that bulging brain of yours for a spin while you’re at it. We’ll either discover that you are talented or you’re not. Or are you afraid?
I’ll just stick with Wilde. You know, the one who does her job.
Junkie1 out. Meow.