Where is the love for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen?

Shia takes a break from carrying the movie

Shia takes a break from carrying the movie. Michael plans another explosion.

Junkie 2, wtf was up with your review?! Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was awesome! I’ll respond to each of your points, but first let me say a few things: these movies are based toys from our youth, since when did playtime require anything more than fun? You know what I miss? The Hollywood hayday when people would go to a movie, allow themselves to be immersed in the story, and escape. For those of you that have seen UP, remember the opening scene where young Carl Fredericksen is vigorously reacting to what he’s watching. That is how I see a movie. I go not expecting the best acting, writing, etc. I go expecting to enjoy myself, and 99.9% of the time I do. If I am supposed to laugh, I laugh. If I am meant to cry, you bet your sweet bippy I’ll be weeping like a baby. If I go to a movie about two contingents of space robots staging their epic battle on Earth, I will sit on the edge of my seat, eager to see what happens next, and have some fun goddammit!

Sure, if you decide to kick back and analyze something you are going to find the faults. Although, I can rip something to shreds and still love it (like my retro review of Buffy the Vampire Slayer). The things I am addicted to (movies, books, television, music, graphic novels, comic books, magazines, blogs, etc.) are meant to entertain, and sometimes they even make you think or emote (of course the best ones do all of the above). I’m not saying everything I see/read is brilliant. But I appreciate things for what they are meant to do. So what’s with all the “disappointment” with this movie?

Now, on with my rebuttal…::spoiler alert::

After movies like Bad Boys (I & II), Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, and The Island what did you expect out of Michael Bay? Also, you enter the theater knowing your seeing a movie about space robots that transform into various modes of transportation, right? Wtf more did you want?

Allow me to lay down what worked for me:

  • The length: I had no idea how long the movie was until I left the theater. Why? Because I was too busy enjoying a good ol’ fashioned nostalgic serving of summer blockbuster.
  • The Plot: You thought it was so disjointed it played like two films?! Say what, J2? I thought the film struck the right notes. If it had been just about reviving Megatron, it would have sucked. Why? Because it really wouldn’t be hard for skilled, super-aliens to find his location and infiltrate our measly human security systems to get the job done. That’s why it only took five minutes of celluloid to raise him. Also, the Gov trying to send the Autobots home is so stupid that it couldn’t support any story…which is why it only occupied a collective eight minutes of screen time. What to do with the other two hours and seventeen minutes? …maybe the resurrection of Optimus and his showdown with the Fallen. What’s so wrong with that? Snippets? I call them scenes. Backstories? Who cares. Transforming. Robot. Alien. Good. Evil. Hostile takeover. Boom, caught up, done. What more do you need to know? It’s an action movie, people. That means the order of the day is ::say it with me:: action! We don’t need to know how the freaky tongue hoe-bot came to be, and what her “childhood” was like. She is a Decepticon, hell-bent on deception. Boom, done. There were two storylines going on–Sam’s and Optimus’–they were woven together and both fulfilled their destiny, saved the world, and made my inner child jump for joy.
  • The Characters: You can’t dog the film for casting Rainn Wilson! He’s a legit comedic presence, and I thought he had a great cameo. And what’s your beef with Kevin Dunn and Julie White (aka Papa and Mama Witwicky) and Leo, the conspiracy theorist/roomate? The parents shouldn’t be demoted, because Sam is going off to college. There has to be some supporting human characters–some connection for Sam to have to humanity so he has a reason to care, a reason to help the Autobots. Obviously the sachets of Megan Fox aren’t enough to keep him going. That said, Bay didn’t need to focus on them either, beeeecause the movie is called Transformers, not Humans.
  • The Robots: The first movie didn’t focus on the ‘bots enough. This time they did, and I dug it! You didn’t feel they gave you enough focus on the characters of the Transformers, but it is important to note that everything has and will always be about Optimus Prime, and they gave you plenty of Optimus. I preferred the backstory to be focused on the lore and turmoil within the Cybertron race not individual robots–and I got that. Also, I didn’t think they meant the Twins don’t or can’t read, it was just that they couldn’t read the ancient writing of their kind. Jetfire (the old Autobot) was freaking awesome too! Come on! His cane doubled as a battle axe! Maybe the reason he sounded rickety was because he was supposed to be rickety. Props to the old dude (aka rusty in Cybertronic terms)!

Final Verdict: If you are desirous of a good time, head to your theater of choice and prepare to enjoy a “mash up of stories that allows Bay to blow something up every 4 minutes.” Light it up!

Honestly, if your going to fuss about something in this movie why not have it be over the boo-tastic roles for the women. You may not have liked Rachel Taylor’s feisty Aussie from the first Transformers movie (or felt she was necessary); but I sure as hell like an intelligent woman like Maggie stickin it to the old white men with her brain as opposed to Mackayla-bootyshorts-Banes, cooky empty-nest mom, whore-bot, and the cutesy blue, pink and purple crotch-rocket female Autobots.

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7 thoughts on “Where is the love for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen?

  1. zrose25 says:

    Booya! Score one point for Junkie 1.

  2. Junkie2 says:

    I should retitle my post “What sucks about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”. Since you texted you loved it I wrote about what didn’t work for me. It was fun, but I found it hard to immerse myself in the story because it jumped around so much. And while I knocked the new transformers it spent/didn’t spend time on – I in no way knocked the fact that it was a movie about Transformers!

  3. Junkie1 says:

    Hey, soul sistah, I was just jibing point for point. And some of that- mainly the beginning- is to more people than just you. To me, this movie just doesn’t seem to warrant any call for a better story or character development. A summer blockbuster is supposed to be formulaic, employing standard archetypes so it has the freedom to spend more time blowing shit up.

    The Dark Knight gives you all of what you were hoping to see here. But I think it’s too much to put Christopher Nolan/Batman standards on a movie that has to credit Michael Bay and Hasbro. Also, did I see a different version of the first Transformers? Because I didn’t walk into the theater with any grand illusions–I don’t see how the first was better than this one. I see continuity between two films on a fairly even plane.

    • Junkie1 says:

      What is so wrong with simple spectacle?

      • spitfire says:

        i think james rocchi said it best: “i have an inner child; [s]he’s just not an inner idiot.”

        it’s frustrating because i went in there WANTING to love this movie. i love action, i love michael bay’s ridiculously beautiful explosions, i love shia lebouf– it’s like the perfect equation. but for some inexplicable reason, it just didn’t work for me this time around.

      • Junkie1 says:

        Was it down right stupid at parts? Yep. But, it reminded me of letting my inner tomboy out and playing with neighborhood boys when I was six or so…and boys are stupid, but I still had fun. ::explosion noises::

        Maybe most people went in wanting to love it, and I went in unconditionally…

  4. […] Check out Junkie1’s response to this post: WTF Friday: Where is the Love? […]

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