WTF Friday: Reality Bites

Bon appetit!

Sure I’ve used this title before, but I also randomly truncate 65% of the English language and make up my own words so I clearly care not for blogger protocol. Jus’ sayin’

On with the newness…I’ve been simmering in memories of food in film all week, but why the eff have I not given any props to real chefs!?! ::cue movie to reality segue::

Check it: I went to a midnight showing of Julie & Julia last night on a whim. It was perfection–I can’t say a single bad about it. I could pull enough foodie delights from that film to fill this blog for months (thanks for amplifying the chew track, Nora Ephron)! Like any good meal, your appetite is triggered, followed by several delightful courses, and ends with a satisfying finish. Someone make me a gimlet and serve me something steeped in butter STAT!

The best part about that movie was the fact that it’s all true! Real chefs kick ass, cooking shows rule, and Julia Child is an icon for a reason. On that note, today I’m going to serve up some of my favorite TV cooks! Julia Child is clearly tops, and you can watch a dozen or so episodes of the French Chef on

My Top (post Julia Child) TV Chefs/Cooks:

Say hello to my little friend.

The Iron Chefs
All of them–the original Iron Chefs from the Japanese version, the American crew, and the contenders. Although, no one tops the legacy of the backflipping chairman! Bring on the secret ingredients, and watch as I slip into a deep food coma. One day, I will finagle a guest judge spot on that show (or I’ll tell you I have when really I am out back feasting in the Iron Chef dumpsters Gollum-style).

Alton Brown (pictured above)
Hilarity ensues each time Good Eats begins–Brown’s Food Network show where he uses plenty of charm, props, and skits to learn you something about food origins (that includes ingredients, dishes, methods, and gadgets). He also brings much meaty commentary to Kitchen Stadium on Iron Chef America and has taken us on two food-based adventures (one by bike, and one by sea).

Bobby Flay
What’s not to love? He’s the nearly unbeatable Iron Chef that specializes in Southwest fare, and he has this other awesome show called Throwdown. The awesome is on two levels: 1. Bobby hears about a regional American that rules a particular food item (from pies to pretzels) and he challenges that person to a throwdown to see if he can top their specialty. 2. Before he challenges them, he does a little “research” with his assistants in his test kitchen. AKA he totally kind of cheats, and I love that!

Paula Deen
The countrified Julia Child of our time! Come on y’all! There’s no way you can’t draw the comparison when you see Deen’s warmhearted, butter-loving delivery of some damn good (and probably deadly) dishes. Bouns: her bushy-bearded hubby often wanders into the kitchen to partake of what’s cookin’ and rarely says a word.

Guy Fieri
Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives is food porn! The food porniest, food porn that ever was. I frequently catch reruns right before bedtime, but I can’t not watch as the bleach blond coiffed, muscle car driving, bling wearing muffin carts from one iconic hole in the wall to another finding the best food in the country. It’s like heaven!

Giada De Laurentiis
Women want to cook like her, and dudes well…appreciate the wardrobe supervisor. Sure she’s gorgeous, but you watch one episode of Everyday Italian and tell me that you didn’t fall in love with the pixie of a chef, and her recipes.

Duff Goldman
Infectious laughter, quirky cohorts, and cake. Sounds just about perfect to me! Ace of Cakes is a delight, and my favorite character on food television just so happens to be the extremely dry-humored Geoff Manthorn.

Gordon Ramsay
Whether it’s chill, professional Gordo or conniption-throwing, tourettes chef I can’t get enough of the wily Brit. Although I would totes cry if he yelled at me, but since that is a highly unlikely scenario I’ll continue to get my Schadenfreude on while watching Hell’s Kitchen.

Pat and Gina Neely
The married couple’s southern cookin’ on Down Home With the Neelys is pretty good lookin’ …but the pair’s bordering on creepy smoochie-smoochieness in the kitchen is what really gets me. It’s totally “get a room”-worthy, but still good television.

Jamie Oliver
Refrences to nudity, cooking, and adorable Brits is always okay in my book (he’s the Naked Chef, in case you didn’t know. I’m not a freaky perv). Oliver serves it up organic, fresh, and delicious every time.

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2 thoughts on “WTF Friday: Reality Bites

  1. Eralc Alegna says:

    No Bourdain???

    • Junkie1 says:

      He’s great, but his show is more about exploring food than making it so I left him out. Same went for Man Vs. Food. Technicalities strike again!

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