Round Two: Over Before It Began

You might recall a little tiff I got into with Dubs (aka Carlos from The Cosmic Sitcom) about my taste in movies. More precisely, Dubs claimed my entire collection was crap–a globalizing statement he soon came to regret. I can sum up Round One in two words: I won. Interestingly enough, Dubs’ own words summarize Round Two: “…I’m wrong.”

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Woe unto the snubber of Junkie 1’s movies.

Here are the numbers (they are strikingly similar to Round One’s stats):

  • Out of 334 movies evaluated, 10 were deemed “crap”
  • ^ That’s only 2%, so suck it
  • While 10 were deemed crap, Dubs was inspired to select 12 to watch
  • ^ That means all of the crap was nullified (and then some)

In total, out of 671 movies, 22 were arbitrarily labeled as “crap” despite the fact that Dubs hadn’t seen the majority of the “crappy” movies. Listen, you can not like something you’ve seen. You can not be interested in something for whatever reason you choose. But don’t go raining on my parade, because you’re not into some of the floats.

I say good day to all those that snub another’s bits! It’s all good in the hood as far as I’m concerned–whether the reasoning stems from nostalgia or niche.

Here are my favorite bits from my notes during the fight:

The M. Night Fight surged on. Signs, the man hated Signs!? The Village, too? The twist might not have been so twisted, but if that’s all you took away from it, you missed some good stuff from the performances alone.

To make matters worse, he hates Turner & Hooch! How could you?! It’s delightful! Beethoven was a throwaway, but Hooch was a classic. Also snubbed: Tango & Cash. Either the man hates buddy films or ampersands…we may never know.

I was just ridiculed for not having seen the third Matrix, but he feels like it’s okay having watched the second and third Mummy movies BUT NOT THE FIRST! Dude, fo reals. The first is the best!

Dubs was all set to consider The Princess Diaries 2 “crap” until I pointed out Chris Pine’s major role. There literally was a double-take, and it was spared. ARBITRARY RULING!

Besides watching Dubs admit defeat, the best part was the discovery of two new theories (one major and one minor):

  • Minor: Dubs mocks the early feature films of all SNL alums save those from Canadia. (As if!)
  • Major: The adorableness of a director, directly correlates to the degree that I enjoy their films. (More on this later)

Lessons of the day, my sweets: To each thier own, can’t we all just get along, don’t knock it til you watch it, and never kid a kidder, kids.

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One thought on “Round Two: Over Before It Began

  1. Zrose25 says:

    How can someone not like Tango & Cash?! A man could get FUBAR’ed for saying such things 😉

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