Love Stinks, Oh yeah.

Junkie 1 and I are two single gals and we unabashedly love a good mush-fest like Amelie or any of the other movies from our post yesterday. However, I’ll be honest with you, on a day dedicated to love and romance, we’re more likely to find ourselves scowling at all the “happy couples” out celebrating their love. So the second part of your Valentine’s Day gift is the result of a five minute pass through of our extensive movie collection in search of movies that will definitely not put you in the mood.

Nothing Kills Romance Quite…

Aliens vs Predator – Requiem – like baby pedato… what exactly are they called, predator…Alien…Predalien…Aliedator…whatever they are… popping out of the bellies of pregnant women.

American Psycho – like jamming kittens into ATM’s.

Crank – like demanding “life saving” sex in public places.

Frailty – like Bill Paxton on a demon killing mission from god.

Hard Candy – like a pedophile and a “fake” castration.

Identity – like a dude with multiple personalities duking it out.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale – like Ray Liotta, evil wizard.

Joy Ride – like a horny, scorned and murderous truck driver.

Kill Bill: Vol. 1 – like Buck and his creepy ass truck.

Kiss the Girls – like kidnapping and naked violin playing.

Mary Reilly – like John Malkovich’s creepy-ass tongue.

Moulin Rouge! – like playing hard to get and then dying.

P2 – like being held hostage in a parking garage.

Starship Troopers – like finally getting with the one you love, and then being killed by a big ass spider thing.

The Island of Dr. Moreau – like being stuck on an island with retarded half animal people who think that a mumu clad Marlon Brando is their god.

The Net – like identity theft and attempted murder.

The Time Machine – like being hunted by Morlocks in the future.

Tremors – like being eaten by graboids.

Watchmen – like rape, murder and a blue dongle.

Willard – like lots and lots of rats.

What other movies make you think unromantic thoughts??

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4 thoughts on “Love Stinks, Oh yeah.

  1. Super Mon says:

    Nice list. I agree completely with all of your choices. Although Wolverine loves Willard so much…but, like you, I feel nothing kills romance like rats upon rats upon rats. Here’s a few:

    Planet of the Apes….because of the apes!
    A Clockwork Orange….rape,murder, eye makeup, and psychotic creepiness kills the love.
    Pi…crazy math doesn’t do it for me.
    Shindler’s List…Ralph Fiennes= NOT HOT.
    Harry and the Hendersons…sorry John Lithgow.

  2. Chester says:

    Why does In the Name of the King wind up on all of your lists??

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