Glee, last night you gave me hell…oh

Gleeks, pay attention
Women are hos or harpies
I say no, no, no

Dear Glee,

I owe you many thanks. First, thanks for stretching twenty two episodes over nearly 13 months. Thanks for kicking off the second half of your season during Lost last night. Thanks for using that episode to reboot all of your character development while simultaneously producing the greatest number of plot holes possible.

Most of all, thanks for letting us all know that it’s a man’s right to sow his seed/”find his inner rockstar,” but when women want to date another man it’s “a problem” (as Finn so succinctly put it, when he tattled on Rachel for daring to not mourn their inexplicably short-lived romance). Thanks for making it obvious that the women on your show fall into three categories: sluts, divas, and crazies–and most of them are schemers. The women scorned self-help group was a classy touch, too (“I make out with my cat and watch Ghost Whisperer” um, wtf?!).

Thanks for finally getting the important message out there that men are victims of intimacy and it’s better to make out with as many women as you want, basically the day after you proclaim your undying love for your best friend (Hello, Shu. You are a douche). Oh, and don’t feel bad for being a pig, lover, because I’m the crazy one. Puh-leeze!

I love your show, and here’s hoping you can clean up your mess.

All best,

P.S. Just so I know I got it right, will you verify all the plot lines you kicked up in one episode:

  1. Glee team: Competition
  2. Glee team: Group Dynamics
  3. Glee team: Funding
  4. Principal Figgins vs. Sue
  5. Sue and Brittany and Santana
  6. Sue vs. Mr. Shu
  7. Mr. Shu and Emma
  8. Mr. Shu and Terri (by way of Emma vs Terri)
  9. Mr. Shu and Shelby (the Vocal Adrenaline coach)
  10. Shelby and Jesse St. James
  11. Jesse St. James and Rachel
  12. Rachel and Finn
  13. Finn and Brittany and Santana
  14. Finn and Quinn
  15. Quinn and Puck
  16. Kurt and Finn

Did I miss any?

  1. Mr. Shu and Terri
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6 thoughts on “Glee, last night you gave me hell…oh

  1. Super Mon says:

    I agree with everything you said, but I did love Sue’s Vogue video at the end. LOVE. As in want to marry it.

    • Junkie1 says:

      The Vouge vid was awesome–Jane Lynch is a comedic powerhouse… but it felt kind of ratings-whoreish. I like when the writers take the time to weave a musical number into the episode not throw a bunch together and tack one on at the end.

      I don’t know. It was just very underwhelming for me as a whole. Almost forced. I’m confident they can get back into the swing of things, though. I’m still a Gleek.

      • Zrose25 says:

        Yeah the whole episode kinda peeved me off…

        When you think about it, eventually they will put the entire season on a DVD, and smack dab in the middle of the DVD is this wierd as hell about-face that they did with every character and plotline. I dont get it…. but maybe it will all make sense in another 10 episodes or so.

  2. Brittney says:

    Bless your heart for summarizing all of my thoughts whilst watching “Glee” last night. I figured I couldn’t be the only one sitting there confused and slightly brain-dead. Thank you for pointing out the effed-up double standard when it comes to the male and female Glee-cast members.

    But Emma is untouchable in my mind. So adorable.

  3. Freek says:

    you took what I wanted to say and said it a million times better! Thank you….p.s. Shu now resides on douchebag mountain with the others…

  4. Metal C says:

    GLEE is the best musical TV show on earth

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