*Junktionary

See something that doesn’t mean anything in one of our posts. Don’t fret, we just like feeling cooler by creating/using slang based on obscure pop culture references. Note: if you see one of these puppies -> * <- next to a word, we will definitely define it hither.)

Addictosphere (dkt-sfîr)
n.
1.  The realm wherein all of one’s compulsive activities resides. Characterized by the presence of habit forming materials (in the oh!zone layer) and by temperatures which rise due to the absorption of ultrawesome, totally rad-iation (like upcoming releases of said activities). Junkie1’s addictosphere experienced a spike in activity when the new season of ‘True Blood’ began.

Apprent-ho (-prnth)
n.
1. A beginner; a learner in the art of being a h0 (short for whore).
2. One who is learning the hoing trade/occupation for a specific amount of time under the tutelage of a master ho. Brintey Spears practiced hoing under the watchful eye of Madonna.

Batman(bat-man)
Adj.
1. deserving the highest esteem
2. having great power, prestige, or influence
3. inspiring Batman’s power, prestige, or influence
4. terrific, extraordinary
That movie was totally batman!

Antonyms: atrocious, awful, lousy, lame, lemon, pathetic, pooptacular, stupid, sucky, terrible, vile, wretched…

Broomwagon (brm’wgn)
n.
1. A cause for adherents of Harry Potter and other wizardry/witchcraft icons in popular culture that attracts increasing numbers of slaves nightly (and often by force). When the masses learned J1 hadn’t read ‘Harry Potter’ they envoked the mere power of their disapproving guffaw to get her to board the broomwagon, and read all of the books.

Dibs (dĭbz)
pl.n.
1.  To claim something.  Rights, claims.
2.  Similar to calling shot gun, but with hot/sexy men or women – typically celebrities.  J2 dibs Ryan Reynolds! or J1s dibs trumps all other dibs when referenced in her posts.

Manorexic (mahn-uh-rek-sik)
n.
1.  When a man, typically an actor, looks thinner than his female counterpart and may quite possibly be anorexic.  Have you seen Nic Cage lately?  He sure looks manorexic.

Muffin (mŭf’ĭn)
adj.
1. A delightful, lovable, and charming person. Michael Cera is such a sweet little muffin!
2. Someone worthy of adoration

Related words: English Muffin Paul Bettany is a total English muffin!

Quintovention(ˈkwint-ˈō-ˈven(t)-shən)
n.
1. The act or fact of intervening when a friend doesn’t appreciate or acknowledge actor, Zachary Quinto. Shmangie, we didn’t bring you here today to hang out. We brought you here today to watch episodes of Heroes and clips from Star Trek until you can understand how empty your life is without love for Zachary Quinto. It’s because we love you, that we want you to love Zachary Quinto.

Related words: Pottervention (example: Junkie1, why the eff have you not seen or read Harry Potter?! This calls for a Pottervention!)

Scottie (skt )
n.
1. A Scottish hottie: Gerard Butler is a Scottie, no doubt.

Super Freak (spr frk)
n.
1. Isabella Rossellini: Isabella Rossellini is a super freak, super freak.
2. The kind [of thing] you don’t take home to mutha.

Vacay (vā-kā)
n.
1.  Abbreviated form of vacation.

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9 thoughts on “*Junktionary

  1. Eralc Alegna says:

    I’m sorry but I refuse to accept emotionless, wooden (yet still somehow overdone) performances as ‘talent’ or ‘acting.’ Even a sociopath serial killer has more to them than big wide crazy eyes and an intense talk-whisper.

  2. zrose25 says:

    DIBS!!! 🙂 Another good example is Zrose25 has the super-unbreakable dibs on Hugh Jackman. Better not forget it! 😛

  3. Yuan says:

    helo. . .nice blog

  4. Rick P. says:

    The scary thing is… J1 and J2 talk like this in. real. life.

    I am surprised (and somewhat disappointed) that several other favorite terms haven’t been added to the Junktionary:

    SHANK/ED. (both as a verb, an adjective, and a double-barrelled threat)
    TOTES. (overused term of agreement common in the Pacific Northwest and Upper Midwest amongst certain intelligerati.) Perhaps it shall yet appear.
    PHO-DAY. (descriptor for a bad mood, unpeppiness, or otherwise dreary time that could be instantly improved with a little soup. And sriracha sauce.)

    — Rick

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