Tag Archives: True Blood

Ménage à blah

Katniss_Sookie_Bella

I am SO sick of love triangles! Writers, stop. Please.

I also dislike how oblivious your heroines are to their value and desirability, the fact that you won’t stop telling us how valuable and desirable they are, and the taciturn dudes you make their love interests. (Especially when one of them is so clearly a dud propped up to afford you another, weaker, sequel.)

Can you make a few with some self esteem for once, too?

Side note: Despite the excess of these devices, I am totally (and finally) addicted to The Hunger Games. I started Catching Fire this morning. #whee

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Unplug this.

I recently went on a vacation to scenic SoDak. It was a great trip, I took copious amounts of pictures, explored the second longest cave in the world, and hiked in the Badlands where cult classic (and personal fave) Starship Troopers was filmed. I did, however, have to give up cell phone coverage and internet for a week. The only entertainment I had (besides nature) was The Girl Who Played With Fire and a few John Wayne westerns on dvd–which is fine by me, I love the Duke. So I puffed up my chest, and thumbed my nose at all that I hold dear:

I don’t need you, iPhone, Wii, Netflix, Comcast, Google Reader, Facebook, etc!

At least that was what I kept telling myself, but then we got home…and saw SIX movies in the theater (that’s near what the average American sees in an entire year), watched lots of tv, and became ridiculously addicted to GetGlue.com. But, hey, I am a junkie so am I really that surprised that I pounced on modern conveniences like the proverbial fat kid and his cake? No. I had True Blood withdrawal, I was in desperate need of an Entertainment Weekly fix (a whole issue dedicated to Steig Larsson’s The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo!!), and my Google Reader/dealer was bursting with new merchandise like:

  • casting tid bits (Johnny Lee Miller joins Dexter this season?! Michael Fassbender to play Magneto in X-Men First Class!!!!!),
  • book releases (Mr. Peanut!), and
  • new music (Lady XTina returns!).

My chest humbly deflated:

I love you, pop culture, and I missed you…bitch.

Here’s my cinema round up, in order.

Splice: They blinded me with science

Holy crap! The critics hailed: “unlike anything you have ever seen” and, baby, they weren’t lyin’. I thought it would be scary-ahh ahh, not scary-eww eww…and after my gush-fest about how much I love Adrien Brody, too. My new theory is, pay attention to Brody’s hair when gauging what you are getting yourself into. For example, does the man control his coif in some fashion? Yes: The Brothers Bloom, Liberty Heights, The Darjeeling Limited–Enjoy! No: The Village, The Jacket, Splice–Buyer Beware! ZRose and I went before lunch with plans to grab a bite after. There was no lunch.

Toy Story 3: Where the toys are

We left Splice with the feeling that it would haunt us for the rest of our lives. So, naturally, we immediately went to a new theater, with less “unclean” memories, and scrubbed our brains with Pixar. I can say it worked (No, wait. It’s still there :: shudder ::). This movie was so good, maybe even the best of the bunch–though Lots-o-Huggin Bear aint got nothin’ on Stinky Pete. I wanted to call my mom after, blubbering like an infant, to see where she put all my old toys. God help her if they were thrown out :: fist shake :: Also, brav-O to Michael Keaton’s dandy turn as Ken, and whoever came up the Buzz Lightyear storyline: ¡Magnifico!

Jonah Hex: Mild mild west

More like Jonah Sux–I think the whole of the Confederate Army simultaneously rolled over in their graves. I didn’t necessarily have high hopes, but they did have a supporting cast list that made my heart soar: Will Arnett, Wes Bentley, Michael Fassbender, Papa Winchester, Aidan Quinn, that dude from Fringe…but in the end it just felt like nothing. The only people that looked like they were working for their paycheck bit the dust (come on kids, we’re either going to have accents or we’re not. You can’t change your mind halfway through). And, I’m sorry, but “the sheriff of America?!” Whoever wrote that or didn’t edit it out should be slapped. I will say that the only joy I got from watching this movie was giggling like a twelve year old when a mustachioed Arnett–in total sincerity–proclaimed “I have the best unit.”

Knight and Day: Got me feelin’ all Maverick-y

This movie was hilarious! Tom Cruise is one of those fools that is cuckoo nutty in the real world, but utterly irresistible on screen. Plus, Cameron Diaz’s character ruled–especially when compared to the usual bumbling idiot roles women get in these kinds of movies (:: cough :: Katherine Heigl). She wears real clothes and biker boots, not debilitating pencil skirts and Louboutins. When handed a gun she doesn’t scream like a prissy chick, she plays with it when no one’s looking like a real person would (I’m a real person, right? :: pyew pyew pyew ::). And the chemistry worked, too–not since Far and Away have I been so giddy about the idea of sneaking a peek at Tom Cruise! I think this movie definitely belongs in the ranks of True Lies and Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

Ondine: Splash-indie style

It was literally a pleasure to watch this movie. It’s a great story about a tender fisherman and the strange girl he nets one day. I was so chillaxed by the time it was over–maybe it was all the water motifs or the ease of the pace, but it was really exquisite. Plus, Colin Farrell was such a muffin in it–this is definitely how he ropes us in, ladies.

Grown Ups: Shampoo is better

Was this a great movie, no. Did I laugh like a fool, yes. Look, if you were brought up on Billy Madison, Tommy Boy, and the like you will enjoy this movie. I’d label it as nostalgia laughs, though I was a little disappointed that they couldn’t tack on some outtakes for the credits (because they were obviously cracking each other up the whole time). Also, note the adorable cameo by Sandler’s daughter at the end and her single line “Don’t choke, daddy.” Oh yeah, and my life may be complete now that I’ve seen Norm Macdonald’s ass and Steve Buscemi in swim trunks.

That’s it, but it’s a busy summer, and I have a lot more movies to see this week. Like this one that has angsty vampires and werewolves or something…

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Love Connection: True Blood, Volume 1; Jason Stackhouse

At little junkies, we want to set you up with the best of the best so you’ll never be lonely.  With the season finale of True Blood airing this past Sunday I can’t help but think I’ll be real lonely this weekend, and every Sunday till next summer.  To help cure me of my blood blues I’ll be revisiting the residents that make Bon Temps (and HBO) so hot throughout the next nine months.  So, stop (!) in the name of love, and check out the first Love Connection of our True Blood series:

He's just waiting for you to check out season 1.

He's just waiting for you to check out season 1.

Name: Jason Stackhouse (We’ll do an updated Australia post on actor Ryan Kwanten soon!)
Occupation:  Resident hottie on HBO’s True Blood/Road Crew Supervisor/Ladies Man/Sookie Stackhouse’s Big Brother
Residence: Bon Temps, Louisiana

Likes:   Sex, women, sex with women, new waitresses at Merlottes, Jesus, The American Way, Bon Temps, his Gran and his sister, and as of late guns
Dislikes: Thinking, occasionally vampires (currently pro vamp), being suspected of murder, The Fellowship of the Sun, The Newlins (self righteous bastards), people speaking ill of his sister

Jason on Jason:  “I work out like a mother-f*** and I watch a lotta porn to learn stuff. What else?… My best friend killed my grandma and my girlfriend. I come from no money. My momma and daddy died when I was eleven.”

Alright, so as a future therapist and self described independent, intelligent,  strong woman Jason’s description of himself should have me running for the hills – but have you seen the boy smile?  Aside from having a body fat percentage of dang near negative 3% and boyishly charming good looks Jason has a lot of heart and can be surprisingly insightful.  While most reviewers would have you believe Jason is some backwater dim witted country hick, I side with his sister Sookie in that the boy’s not dumb, just lazy with his brain.  His ignorance comes off as endearing not foolish.  Plus  its really fun to watch him read the bible and discover that light equals good and darkness equals evil.

Favorite Quotes:

Jason: [in his thoughts] I’m too damn pretty to go to prison.

Jason Stackhouse: Evil is makin’ the pre-medicated choice to be a dick.

Sarah Newlin: You’re worse than Judas.
Jason Stackhouse: Why? What’d he do to you?

Jason Stackhouse: Most of the gays I come across, they look like…
Eddie: You. You’re what we’re supposed to look like.

Jason: It’s like if a tree falls in the woods  it’s still a tree, ain’t it?

Jason [about Steve]: That sonuvabitch. It’s like he sucked out my brain and planted all his own babies there

Jason Stackhouse: Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it. That’s in the Bible [pause] or the Constitution.

Jason: Jesus Christ, I wanna lick your mind!
Amy Burley: Let’s have lunch first.

Jason Stackhouse: I’m alive. Holy shit. God saved me. I’m saved.
Sarah Newlin: Oh, for heaven’s sake, grow a brain cell. Paintballs!

Just think what your mother would say!

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That Sucks: End of Summer Season

Damn kid, those things spread like crazy.

Its that time again kids; school is starting up, days are getting shorter, weather is getting cooler, and True Blood‘s season finale is next Sunday – it’s official – Summer is over.

I have to admit, as a Midwesterner, I love all of the seasons and Autumn is my favorite.  Crisp air, cute coats, no need for heat or air conditioning (low electric bills!) and the return of all my favorite shows – well, the one’s that didn’t get chopped way back in Spring.  But, with the emergence of Fall comes the end of Summer and all of the great, addicting shows that fill the void season finale’s left.

A small part of me recognizes that shows are the result of long hours of hard labor by many people. The media whore in me wants my TV to last year long no mater who’s marriage ends as a result (I kid I kid).  Absence does not make the heart grow fonder.  Absence results in me spending too much on TV box sets because I’m too impatient for Netflix to send me disc 3 of 6.  Hi, My name is Junkie 2, and I’m an addict.  [Hi Junkie 2].

I’m appreciative of all the things Summer season does for me while my regularly scheduled programming is on hiatus, but holy crap do I really have to wait 9 months for True Blood to return?!?!  It hurts so much already and hasn’t even been a full week of a 2 week hiatus – if they end on a major cliff hanger a bitch is gonna get slapped.  With that said, I’m probably not going to be invited to any True Blood season finale parties this year…and that sucks.

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