Ménage à blah

I am SO sick of love triangles! Writers, stop. Please.

I also dislike how oblivious your heroines are to their value and desirability, the fact that you won’t stop telling us how valuable and desirable they are, and the taciturn dudes you make their love interests. (Especially when one of them is so clearly a dud propped up to afford you another, weaker, sequel.)

Can you make a few with some self esteem for once, too?

Side note: Despite the excess of these devices, I am totally (and finally) addicted to The Hunger Games. I started Catching Fire this morning. #whee

Useful Movie Reviews: Midnight in Paris and The Green Lantern

Want to know if a movie is worthwhile, but hate blah-blah lengthy reviews? Me, too. I keep it short and sweet so you can get on with your life and into the theater.

Review: DC does it again. And by it I mean throws away another franchise from their storied canon. Too much exposition followed up by…meh. I was so bored. Reynolds is great, too, which makes it such a bummer.

Verdict: See it…in theaters if you are a hardcore Lantern fan or on Netflix as part of a bad super hero movie marathon with your friends.

Review: Woody Allen sticks to his formula and produces some adorable, funny moments (if only slightly, and intentionally, pedantic). Shh, don’t tell, but I am in love with fictional Ernest Hemingway and non-fictional Michael Sheen.

Verdict: See it…on Netflix, because I think Allen movies are the cinematic equivalent of comfort food. So they are best watched in your living room where you can spread out and enjoy the dialogue.

Useful Movie Reviews: Super 8, Friends With Benefits and others

Want to know if a movie is worthwhile, but hate blah-blah lengthy reviews? Me, too. I keep it short and sweet so you can get on with your life and into the theater.

Review: Best dialogue for (and acting by) chillins since The Goonies. (Damn you for making me miss LOST, J.J. Abrams!)

Verdict: See it…in theaters today.

Review: Pretty frickin adorable, very frickin funny. (Damn you for making me love you, Justin Timberlake!)

Verdict: See it…in theaters July 22

Here are a few more (already in theaters)

Review: Groovy. (Kevin Bacon is kind of awesome.)

Verdict: See it…a few times

Review: The Hangover, Part Boo (When will you bitches let Justin Bartha be in a movie?)

Verdict: See it…on Netflix…if you hate yourself.

Nostalgia: Bubble Bobble

[via http://bit.ly/dLhtOL ]

Cage Match: Two Faced

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with an Estevez Festifez, in fact, I encourage you all to partake (with a Sheen In-between mix-up). But I have a better idea; one that promises an exponentially more maniacal and entertaining journey: the Cage Match.

Which Nic Cage movie will reign supreme?

Will it be the ridiculously quirky crime-fighter, Johnny Blaze that loses his face to the devil or the ridiculously quirky criminal, Castor Troy that loses his face to science?

Best Line Award

Ghost Rider: Sam Elliot
“Morning, bonehead.”

Face/Off: Nic Cage
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go visit the little boys wee wee room.”